Grandpa! Don’t drive on Herndon anymore!

I know that Herndon can be intimidating. I get that. You don’t feel comfortable going 50 (let alone 60) miles per hour. Cool.

THEN DON’T FUCKING USE HERNDON!

Herndon is for bitter commuting. We are all pissed we have to go to work or we are in a hurry to get home. Stay away.

Yeah, Herndon should be a freeway, but it’s not, so it’s an “expressway” that has added more and more lights over the years, and that is… it’s whatever, I am not here to talk about the expressway aspects or if it should have been a freeway, I am just here to tell slow driver guy to stay off Herndon.

You might say:

Hey but I need to get West or East and I am in Northeast or Northwest Fresno!

Yeah? Well use Sierra in Northwest and Alluvial in Northeast (use Fresno street to connect them) and you can drive 40/35 to your heart’s content, I don’t give a shit, just stay off Herndon.

Yes, Sierra ends in the West at the Bullard loop, just take the loop over to Bullard until Golden State/Riverside Drive/Veterans Blvd and you can complete your slow journey West without ever touching Herndon.

Going East on Alluvial? I am pretty sure you end up in Clovis somewhere, who friggin cares, why are you going to Clovis anyway?!

Look, man, you don’t need to feel ashamed that you can’t hack Herndon. What are you trying to prove anyway? Using Sierra isn’t embarrassing, I am sure you’re better at other things, you don’t need to be good at driving fast.

End of public service announcement.

Have a nice day, Fresno. Be safe out there.

-Mikey